His heart aches in his chest. He loves him so much which is why it hurts so much. "Why did you wait so long to say anything? Am I that hard to talk to?" He laid his heart out on the table for Lan Wangji to do whatever he wanted with it. Always expressed his love in the loudest of ways. So why was it so hard to just tell him the truth?
He wants to believe those words. That Lan Wangji would fight for him and that he would never forgive the ones that hurt him. That he wouldn't just rush into the next person's arms and replace him to feel that void he leaves behind. But how can he trust it now that it has happened once?
A part of him is glad to know now. That the truth did come from this Lan Wangji and not from someone else. If he had found out such a thing from his soul twin or the other Lan Wangji...he doesn't know how he would have reacted. But to find out the truth so late and so close to their wedding just makes it harder to handle.
He turns away again, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping. His shoulders trembling ever so slightly from the effort of holding them back. Those nine tails droop lifelessly as if they were beaten. The ears flat against his head.
If his soul twin was so hurt then he wouldn't have accepted those kisses. But clearly he did otherwise Lan Wangji wouldn't be confessing to him now. And he knows his soul twin as well as he knows himself. He would never have turned down those affections. Has he also told his Lan Wangji about what happened? Or does the heavy weight of confession still sit on his shoulders?
"Do you not trust what I would have done if I had known?" Perhaps he believed that he would just run off into the other Lan Wangji's arms. But doesn't that also bring them back to a lack of trust in him? Is Wei Wuxian so untrustworthy?
no subject
He wants to believe those words. That Lan Wangji would fight for him and that he would never forgive the ones that hurt him. That he wouldn't just rush into the next person's arms and replace him to feel that void he leaves behind. But how can he trust it now that it has happened once?
A part of him is glad to know now. That the truth did come from this Lan Wangji and not from someone else. If he had found out such a thing from his soul twin or the other Lan Wangji...he doesn't know how he would have reacted. But to find out the truth so late and so close to their wedding just makes it harder to handle.
He turns away again, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the tears from escaping. His shoulders trembling ever so slightly from the effort of holding them back. Those nine tails droop lifelessly as if they were beaten. The ears flat against his head.
If his soul twin was so hurt then he wouldn't have accepted those kisses. But clearly he did otherwise Lan Wangji wouldn't be confessing to him now. And he knows his soul twin as well as he knows himself. He would never have turned down those affections. Has he also told his Lan Wangji about what happened? Or does the heavy weight of confession still sit on his shoulders?
"Do you not trust what I would have done if I had known?" Perhaps he believed that he would just run off into the other Lan Wangji's arms. But doesn't that also bring them back to a lack of trust in him? Is Wei Wuxian so untrustworthy?